These weird, wild and wacky pet food brands, names and signs conclusively prove that dogs, cats and other pets really should be the ones naming the food they eat.
1) Rabid Transit
This rare misstep by the House of Mouse was actually sold by major retailers between 2005 and 2010. For those unaware, “Old Yeller” was a popular Walt Disney film from 1957 in which a frontier lad raises a puppy who saves his family from a rabid wolf. Unfortunately, the titular canine catches rabies from the wolf and the heartbroken boy has to put him down... via his rifle.
As for the namesake dog chow, Kroger recalled it in 2010 after receiving a “not recommended” rating from DogFoodAdvisor – and getting sued by someone whose beloved pet passed away after consuming the killa kibble. Really, who could see that coming? (images via Joel Kramer at top and Wiegand Family above)
2) Com-FUR-tably Numb
If you're wondering about the spaced-out stare sported by the cat on the Cat Smack bag, well, it might have something to do with the cat food sharing its name with a powerful and illegal opiate street drug.
Maybe the brand's marketing department really intended the brand name to be “Cat Snack” but something got er, lost in translation? Or maybe not – that kitteh's dilated pupils and unfocused gaze speak for themselves. (image via srp6685)
3) Dinner & a Movie
Shoot, a fella' and his dog could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff! Or in this case, a so-so weekday evening in Toronto, where this curiously incongruous sign was spotted.
In any case, far be it for us to judge anyone's romantic/gastronomic inclinations – the “Strangelove” reference pretty much covers it. Mein fuhrer, I can walk the dog! (image via Ayla Newhouse)
4) Good To the Last Droplet
Y'know when you try to be cute and it just comes across as creepy? Like, say, the illustrated Vita One sign above? Yeah, that's gonna leave a mark – on your psyche.
Kudos to the photographer for highlighting the image's features like the too-pink tongue, seductive false eyelashes (wait, what?) and that single pearly droplet of drool, all against a lurid background of retina-scorching orange and red. Do they have puppies in Hell? If so, this is what they look like - just add two more heads. (image via Ray Larabie)
5) Clean Plate
One wonders why the Hygenic Dog Food Co. couldn't make a go of it – you'd think they'd have a leg up on all those other un-hygenic dog food companies. Then there's the heavily barred windows and no less than two burglar alarms... was this a pet food factory or a prison? Why not both? At least the guard dogs ate well.
This Alamo-like edifice has a certain charm for those into gothic architecture and old horror flicks. Lord only knows what went on in the basement... hey, is that Pee Wee Herman's bike? (image via Eric)
6) Beast Borscht
Pet food doesn't come much more generic than Beet Pulp Shreds (with molasses), the Animal Food “that's easy to digest” whether you're an emu, a bison, a rabbit or an alpaca. The bag specifies the product can be served to “all animal classes” - and no doubt to various vegetable and mineral classes as well. And you thought your school lunches sucked!
Some deep diving into manufacturer Mid-West Agri reveals that this by-product of sugar beet processing gives fur a sleek sheen, provides a cooling effect for show animals and resists infestation by rodents, roaches and weevils. Whatever you say, Dwight. (image via Rusty Clark ~ 100K Photos)
7) Trouter Banks
A fish food bank for fat cats? Or do obese catfish have their own food banks now? So confusing! We're not saying something's “fishy” here but we want no part of any business that appears to be run from a re-purposed dumpster.
No prices are listed for the purported catfish food but to hazard a guess, we estimate a decent serving size will run you slightly under a fin but probably more than a couple of sand dollars. (image via Waifer X)
8) Upchuckwagon
You'd think a country named after a delicious Thanksgiving main dish (we know, we know) could think of a better name for the food they feed their beloved pets. But noooo... instead they went with Barf. Yep, “Barf Cat & Dog Food”, it's right there on the logo along with a stylized paw that looks like it's made of those rubber fake vomits once sold at novelty shops. Remember novelty shops? But we digress.
We ran “barf” through Google Translate in the hope that what sounds awful to English-speakers is actually kinda cool and appealing in Turkish. No such luck: “barf” translates to “barf”. That cat on the poster's under no illusions, by the look of it. As for preparation... we're guessing it's to be served warm, over shoes. (images via axeltriple)
