Missing Purr-sons: The Top Ten Wacky Lost Pet Posters
Lost pet posters have been around since pets have been getting lost, paper's been available to compose posters on, and creative pet owners have been able to express pithy, pathos-infused prose. These ten wacky lost pet posters succeed in grabbing one's attention at the very least, and that's the first step towards recovering a missing and missed pet.
10) Has Anybody Seen My...
Is there a rogue rooster rustler on the rampage? Will the local police be issuing an APB for the cock-napper? Eyewitnesses report the purported perpetrator was wearing a white suit with a black string-tie, had white whiskers and spoke with a southern accent. (Lost pet poster image via Foundshit)
9) Silence is Golden Retriever
See me, feel me, touch me, FIND ME! Have you heard about Boomer going missing? That's OK, neither has he (I'll be here all week, try the veal). Boomer may not be the most responsive dog – at least, not to voice commands – but he sure plays a mean pinball. (Lost pet poster image via Funcherry)
8) Flying Burrito Brother
Unicorn Burritos embody the best features of unicorns and burritos: like Lucky Charms, they're magically delicious! What's that you say, “There's no such thing as a Unicorn Burrito”? I guess you haven't left a burrito lying around for four and a half years then. (Lost pet poster image via Liquidnight)
7) Laika Lost Pet Rock
In Soviet Russia, pet lose you! Laika blazed a trail for over 50 so-called “space dogs” who rocketed into orbit in the early years of the Soviet space program. Astonishingly, most survived their wild rides though poor Laika wasn't one of them. (Lost pet poster image via Mike2.com)
6) See Food Anyone?
Who put up this poster, Paris Hilton? Seriously, “Oliver” must be some special crustacean if he's worth a sawbuck on the lost pet market. Speaking of which, if crabs are going for just $5 each at the fish market then Ollie's owner better have plenty of cash on hand. (Lost pet poster image via Scott Bush)
5) Finder$ Keeper$
This passive-aggressive lost pet poster is an oldie but a goodie, plus it does double duty as a uniquely painless way to break-up with significant others who are overly attached to their misbehaving pets. One easily detached girlfriend, coming up! (Lost pet poster image via Feverish Thoughts)
4) Buzz On The Streets
Occasionally someone's pet parrot will escape through an open window and end up repeating his name and address to whomever finds it. This guy's lost pet fly isn't quite as helpful since all it can say is “Heeeelp Meeeee!” (Lost pet poster image via My Lost Fly & friends)
3) Hey Kola Nuts
“Please help me find my baby,” begins this professionally composed lost pet poster... well maybe the dingo ate your baby! Letting potential reward-seekers know you rate your pet's value with that of a child isn't really a good idea, and neither is stating you'll “do anything to get him back”. With that in mind, before knocking on her door with the pooch in one hand and an open palm in the other it's best to be sure you've got the right mutt... just follow the poster's extremely specific identification instructions. (Lost pet poster image via Daily Dawdle)
2) Red Rover
Not everyone has recent photos of their missing pet to plaster on a poster but if you're reasonably skilled at art, a hand-drawn facsimile will do nicely. From the poster above, we can deduce that “Irwin” has an enormous head, is red as a freakin' fire engine and only has one hind leg. The latter, plus the fact he's “just lost an eye,” likely means he hasn't gotten too far away. (Lost pet poster image via Damn Cool Pictures)
1) Quit While You're A Head
When it comes to missing pets, the whole isn't always worth the sum of the parts. If Ling-Ling's dog-head-ly searching owner ever posts a reward for a missing dog leg, I've already found it – on the 7th hole at my local golf course. (Lost pet poster image via Krstnn Hrmnsn)
Do lost pet posters actually work? The answer depends mainly on the photo the pet-owner chooses to illustrate the poster but also on the wording used to describe the lost pet. Simply stating it's “awesome” ain't enough although rare, wild, Himalayan Pallas Cats (top) and the breathtaking Xerxes (above) are truly awesome indeed. Word up: make your posters memorable and your pet'll be more returnable! (Lost pet poster images via Jasongraphix, top, and Fork Party, above)