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Holy Rolling & Trolling: The Top 10 Alternative Automotive Jesus Fish


Lots of folks who put their missionary zeal on the front burner also stick it to their back bumpers in the form of Jesus Fish. Though they can't see the shining non-secular signs as they cruise down life's highway, we can... and we can do better! These 10 alternative Jesus Fish promote other dearly-held beliefs while taking some of the starch out of those who take theirs a bit too seriously. (Alternative Jesus Fish Via Cnet)

 

 

10) Evolving A Response


Call it a knee-jerk reaction but when confronted and/or affronted by the smug certainty of a Jesus Fish, the most obvious response is a Darwin Fish. Basically it's the basic freehand fish symbol that's “evolved” a pair of added legs. Some versions include the "Darwin" name but if someone can't decipher the implication of a fish with legs then they're in need of some further education, though not in Kansas. A further variation depicts the walking fish grasping a tool, usually a wrench... we'll assume it's a Monkey Wrench. (Alternative Jesus Fish Via Swisslet, get your own Darwin Fish here)

 

 

9) In Cod We Trust


Charter members of the Tea Party, red state Republicans and chagrined Romney supporters rejoice, we have your Jesus Fish right here! This All-American enhanced version of the classic Jesus Fish announces to the world (or anyone following your car) that the best kinds of Christians come in red, white & blue. (Alternative Jesus Fish Via Chrome Auto Emblems)

 

 

8) Lord In-Vader?


Mothership to Agent ZX5, come in! I'm not saying it's aliens but just in case it is, I want them to identify and rescue me before construction of the new galactic off-ramp begins. This alien fish will also serve to convey to our new extraterrestrial overlords that you've already been probed. (Alternative Jesus Fish Via Lance Mannion, get your own Alien Fish here)

 

 

7) Hey Jude, Don't Make It Bad


Even otherwise observant Jews hate gefilte fish so the success of this item is very much in doubt. Then there's the question of members of the Jewish faith being prominently and publicly marked as such. Didn't somebody try something along those lines in the 1940s? (Alternative Jesus Fish Via Chrome Auto Emblems, get your own Gefilte Fish here)

 

 

6) For FSM's Sake


Besides biblical characters and the certifiable, no one's ever actually seen, heard, touched or smelled Our Creator. Therefore, according to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, "there's every bit as much empirical, tangible, direct evidence for a Flying Spaghetti Monster as there is for any other God or gods." One thing IS certain: if a Flying Spaghetti Monster should actually happen to exist, he'd smell delicious! (Alternative Jesus Fish Via WhereMyArm, get your own FSM fish here)

 

 

5) Jurassic Parking


It's a dog-eat-dog world out there but hey, that's karma for you... and by the way, my karma hit your dogma. This particular Jesus Fish seems to illustrate the triumph of evolution over Creationism in a quite graphic way. I drink your milkshake and then I eat your Jesus Fish, tiny little arms or not! (Alternative Jesus Fish Via EvolveFish, get your own T-Rex Fish here)

 

 

4) Scuba Do, Where Are You?


Can one love scuba diving religiously? Why yes, yes one can! And now there's a very special Jesus Fish designed to spread the gospel of Jacques Cousteau throughout the nation's overland transportation system... er, wait, overland? DOH! (Alternative Jesus Fish Via Dangerous Intersection, get your  own Scuba Fish here)

 

 

3) The Great Old Ones Testament


Cthulhu waits, dreaming... of the day you'll put a Cthulhu Fish on your car! After all, if the purpose of slapping a fish on your Ford is to advertise your belief in a higher power, well, there are more than a few claimants to that particular position. Jesus is way cuter, though, R'lyeh. (Alternative Jesus Fish Via Wikimedia, get your own Clthulhu Fish here)

 

 

2) The Devil Made Him Do It


Other people may look down on you for sporting a Satan Fish but that's fine, Satanists think looking down is the right way to worship anyway. Even so, there are some places where your appearance won't be greeted as warmly as your afterlife: church picnics, funerals and Rick Perry's motorcade to name a few. (Alternative Jesus Fish Via FunFive, get your own Satan Fish here)

 

 

1) Loaves & Fishes


Hungry for religion, or just plain hungry? The cutting-edge Fish n'Chips car fish manages to mock both the mocked and the mockers in one fell swoop... hey, they all asked for it. On the other hand, flashing one of these on your bumper is certain to raise the nation's obesity rate by a small but significant percentage. (Alternative Jesus Fish Via 606Studios, get your own Fish n'Chips fish here)

 

So what do you think of these emblems? Have you seen any others that are funny or interesting?

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Steve Levenstein
Creature Features
PetsLady.com

Comments
Nov 14, 2012
by 23 Paws and Me
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LOL - Gefilte - that is

LOL - Gefilte - that is hilarious!  Very clever.

Nov 14, 2012
by Anonymous
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I got my daughter one for

I got my daughter one for her car...the fish is wearing a red fez and inside it says, " 'n custard." Anyone? Anyone?

Nov 14, 2012
by Anonymous
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The only problem I've seen

The only problem I've seen is some friends having their cars defaced by some of those "loving" superstitious Christian types.

Nov 14, 2012
by Anonymous
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Lulz, but you missed the one

Lulz, but you missed the one on the back of my car: It is evolution fish (with legs and arms) mounting (yes in exactly the way you think) ichthys fish! It is called procreation. Love the lulz! I have it on one side and the FSM on the other.

Nov 19, 2012
by Anonymous
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Great pic but block out your

Great pic but block out your license plate, you wouldn't believe what Christians will do just to try to stir up trouble for you.

Nov 16, 2014
by Anonymous
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Looking for a similar emblem

Looking for a similar emblem to these, but in the fish it says "Sushi". Can't seem to find it anymore. Used to be on The Prank Place site, but not anymore.

Nov 17, 2014
by Creature Features
Creature Features's picture
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Have you tried Amazon? Steve

Have you tried Amazon?

Steve Levenstein
Creature Features
PetsLady.com

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