The 8 Best Easter Toys (To Give Your Kids Nightmares)
Do your little monsters love the Easter Bunny? Do you want to traumatize them so badly that they never want another Easter Basket in their lives? If so, you've come to the right place. Here are 8 stuffed rabbits so scary your kids will be afraid to get out of bed on Easter Sunday.
Road Kill Rabbit
Ready to give your child an introduction to the real world, where adorable animals are sacrificed to the gods of the daily commute? Then this cuddly road kill plush with guts strewn about will let your little one appreciate nature for what it really is -extremely fragile. At least she'll get a nice lesson in anatomy in the process.
Patricia Waller's Pitchfork
Like the roadkill rabbit, this little knitted bunny by Patricia Waller shows kids how animals live in the real world. Those that munch on crops are the first to get hunted down and run through with pitchforks.
What do those dead little rabbits do to get revenge on those that have harmed them? Come back from the dead and go on a rabid rabbit killing spree, of course. Give this guy to your baby and you're certain to haunt his dreams with images of one-eyed rabbits hopping very slowly towards their next victim.
Bunnywith Homesick Abortion
What better way to teach your child about the birds and the bees than to show them what happens when a mommy and a daddy don't love each other very, very much? Isn't it cute? The bloody little tissue mass wants to come back to its safe, warm womb is a great way to remind little girls about the wages of sin.