What do you get when you cross a Bull-mastiff with fireworks?
A lot of weight on your lap, that's what.
Egad! I can say that I've experienced something very similar with my girlfriend's sister's giant dog. It's not as painful as it looks--but it does make it very difficult to watch TV. And you get quite a bit of licking action, so have something handy to clean off your face.
Ever had a giant dog on your lap???? If so, send us pictures!!!!