A shirtless, shades-wearing, horse-riding man possibly named Vladimir was recently photographed riding by an ice machine outside a Walmart somewhere in Florida.
Putin's been under pressure of late to er, rollback his troops from Syria, Ukraine and the Crimea. As such, there's no better way for a former KGB agent to respond to such provocations than to strike at the very heart of the capitalist system: Walmart.
Often photographed in hyper-masculine poses that would make Captain Kirk blush, you'd think it wasn't possible for the mischievous & macho Russian Pres to get any cooler. What could explain this sudden sunny ice run to the future Floridian SSR, then? Study it out, comrades – odds are he just needed some ice to temper his strategic stockpile of Stolichnaya.