A raccoon with no gravity issues whatsoever climbed nine stories up the side of an Ocean City apartment building before bailing out, sans parachute.

Raccoon Slowly Scales Highrise, Quickly Returns To Earth

“Nine floors high... not on a balcony,” stated Micah Rea, a South Carolina native who found himself in the right place at the right time with a raccoon who had The Right Stuff. “This is the real news,” added Rea, author of a short video dated September 21st that has since gone viral. “You won't see this in the nightly news tonight.”

Wrong, Micah, a number of news stations and websites have featured the daredevil critter because, to paraphrase WKRP's station manager, “As G-d is my witness, I thought raccoons couldn't fly.”

Raccoon Slowly Scales Highrise, Quickly Returns To Earth

Not that this particular varmint flies WELL, mind you... at least he stuck the landing without sticking to the ground. The apartment's seaside location was a crucial factor; though the raccoon pancaked hard, the sand was forgiving and it immediately skedaddled away from the gathering crowd.

No doubt that if it could talk, it would utter a Pee Wee erman-esque “I meant to do that” before beating a hasty retreat on its tiny clawed feet. (via FOX6-TV and WCMH-TV)