Playground slides, rides and climbing frames shouldn't be designed by those whose childhoods were the stuff of nightmares... and yet here we are.

 

Monkey Barred: The Top 10 Terrifying Playground Animals

Dumpo
The Safari-Zoo in Majorca, Spain offers visitors an alluring combination of a zoo visit and an African safari. Their kids, on the other hand, get to ride what must be the world's crappiest playground slide. (creepy playground animal image via TripAdvisor)

 

 

snake slide creepy playground

Fangs A Lot
There's really no escape from the well-meaning horror of kid's playgrounds; even if you're a parent just hoping to relax on a bench while their child plays. Good luck when bedtime comes and memories of a day at the playground just won't leave. (creepy playground animal image via jessica wilson)

 

 

Gila Monster playground slide

Hava Gila
Gila Monsters, in my playground? It's more likely than you think, especially if you happen to be in charming Carefree, Arizona. At least this jumbo reptile replica is harmless, though I'd be careful touching it after a few hours in the mid-day desert sun. (creepy playground animal image via David Quigley)

 

 

Monkey Barred: The Top 10 Terrifying Playground Animals

Heads Up, Kiddies!
Truth be told, monkey bars really aren't monkey bars without a few monkeys – even if they're disembodied monkey heads. This mom in her space-age silver coat looks suitably unimpressed. (creepy playground animal image via Novosti-N)

 

 

Monkey Barred: The Top 10 Terrifying Playground Animals

So Long Suckers
If you thought Russia – communist or otherwise – had a monopoly of freaky playground equipment, think again: Japan's right up there with them. These weird octopus playground slide things can be found all over Japan and nobody thinks there's anything odd about it. Neither do we... who welcome our new octopus overlords. (creepy playground animal image via WebUrbanist and Akira Nakajima)   

 

 

creepy playground hydra

Keep Hydra-ted
This rusting playground structure should have quit while it was a head... or better yet, while it was still on the designer's drawing board. Whomever approved this "feature" at Whittier Narrows Recreation Area near Los Angeles obviously didn't have children. (creepy playground animal image via bellbeefer)  

 

 

Monkey Barred: The Top 10 Terrifying Playground Animals

Honey I'm Home
This playground in Prague, Czech Republic looks more miserable than most, even without the giant bees patrolling the empty sands... wait, what? Ostensibly this is supposed to be some sort of oversized honeycomb meant to attract kids. We don't see any kids so maybe it's been attracting giant bees instead. (creepy playground animal image via Novosti-N)   

 

 

Black Widow Spider playground

Weave Me Alone
Welcome to Australia, where Black Widow Spiders are about the LEAST poisonous critter children are likely to find while at play. They'll find this one at a playground in Chatswood West, Sydney. (creepy playground animal image via Jason Baker)   

 

 

creepy bears playground

Bears Repeating
Playgrounds seem to take on a whole different character after sunset and as the light grows dimmer, the creatures appear to come to life... at least these bright-eyed bears do thanks to some skillful photo editing. That IS photo editing, right? RIGHT?? (creepy playground animal image via Reut C)    

 

 

Monkey Barred: The Top 10 Terrifying Playground Animals

Rat's Entertainment
Geez lady, don't you think you're too old to play on this, er, you know what? She's just the right age since children shouldn't be allowed within 20-feet of this abomination. If the rusty metal doesn't give 'em a terminal case of tetanus, the concept itself is sure to induce a lifetime of nightmares. Then again, the NEXT generation of creepy playground equipment designers has to get their inspiration from somewhere, amiright? (creepy playground animal image via Hronika.info) 

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